JUST SAYING
JUST SAYING
Dear Classmates:
In The Past 55 Years I May Have Disturbed You, Irritated You, And Annoyed You;
I Just Want To Tell You That I Plan To Continue!
JUST SAYING
I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
JUST SAYING
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation toward the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
​
JUST SAYING
Bill Wagner said he never knew what happiness was until he got married—and then it was too late.
JUST SAYING
Bruce Roth said always borrow money from a pessimist. They’ll never expect it back.
​
JUST SAYING
Jeff McElrath's IQ test results came back, they were negative.
​
JUST SAYING
My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag. Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
​
JUST SAYING
When you feel as though you are
drowning in life situations.
Don't worry!
Your life guard walks on water!
JUST SAYING
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it. So I said 'Implants?' She hit me.
JUST SAYING
Feeling pretty proud of myself. The puzzle I bought said 3-5 years, but I finished it in 18 months.
JUST SAYING
Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it. -
JUST SAYING
Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it.
JUST SAYING
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
JUST SAYING
If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.
JUST SAYING
If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.
JUST SAYING
House work can't kill you, so why take a chance.
JUST SAYING
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underware.
JUST SAYING
Sometimes I wish I could just rewind back to the old days and press pause... just for a little while
JUST SAYING
Growing old is hard work...
The mind says "yes but, the body says " what the hell are you thinking"!
JUST SAYING
Fear is contagious.
So is hope!
JUST SAYING
​
A girl called me the other night and said "come over, nobody is home!" I went there and she was right, nobody was home! JUST SAYING
Be careful when you follow the MASSES:
...sometimes the "M" is silent!
JUST SAYING
If you're hotter than me, then that means I'm cooler than you. -
JUST SAYING
Richard Arend found out that
"ya can't go fishin in a watermelon patch"! JUST SAYING
Bill Trigg found out "ya can't go a-swimming' in a baseball pool"! JUST SAYING
I just found out "ya can't take a shower in a parakeet cage"!
JUST SAYING
I was so bored I called Jake from State Farm just to talk to someone. He asked me what I was wearing.
JUST SAYING
Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been
giving me lately!
JUST SAYING
Whether you think you can or
whether you think you can't, you're right! JUST SAYING
Bill Olmstead shot his first Turkey today. Scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen food section, it was awesome! JUST SAYING
David Wolf was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
JUST SAYING
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
JUST SAYING
They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.
JUST SAYING
We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know.
​
JUST SAYING
My friend, remember that without stupidity there wouldn't be intelligence, and without ugliness there wouldn't be beauty, so the world needs you after all. -
JUST SAYING
Life is sexually transmitted.
JUST SAYING
Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers-- What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow! JUST SAYING
I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know.. hunting elephants.'
JUST SAYING
Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow.
JUST SAYING
A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. -
JUST SAYING
Don't get confused between my personality & my attitude.
My personality is who I am, my attitude depends on who you are.
JUST SAYING
2019: Stay away from negative people. 2020: Stay away from positive people. JUST SAYING
This virus has done what no woman had been able to do…cancel all sports, shut down all bars, and keep men at home!!!
JUST SAYING
I never thought the comment “I wouldn’t touch them with a 6 foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!
JUST SAYING
My wife and I are trying to set up a new password for our computer. I put, "Mypenis," as my password. My wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough." JUST SAYING
The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.
JUST SAYING